Frustration!

I am in the midst of a pity party.  Care to join me?

Today, I get an email from my son's teacher.  He told me how Kyle got a 100% on a test and he was the only kid in the class to do so.  Because Kyle had been struggling so much, he praised him greatly, to encourage him to keep doing his best and to show him that he can do well when he applies himself.  One problem, Kyle cheated on the test.  GRRRR! 

I read the email and gave Kyle no indication that I knew what he had done.  I asked him what happened at school.  He refused to tell me.  He just cried instead.  Finally, I confronted him.  He cried some more.  He is now grounded.  For a week.  No privileges, including no TV, no video games, no Legos, no fun, no smiling, and no daydreaming.  In all seriousness, he is in deep trouble. 

Its times like this when I hate being a single parent.  HATE it!  Today, has been especially bad.  I've cried at the injustice of having to raise my son by myself.  My ex was, by far, the better parent.  Me, I'll do in a pinch, but poor Kyle; he is stuck with me. 

It's also times like this that make me wish I had a good male role model for him.  Yes, he has his uncles and his grandpa, but he is missing that male figure at home.  Someone to teach him how to do guy stuff, like, you know, guy stuff.  All the stuff that guys do that I don't even know what it is because it is guy stuff.  He needs that like I need someone who will take him on like his own son.  And, I'm going to hold my breath and wait for it to happen.  I can dream, right?

To keep up with the theme of this blog, dating hasn't been going to well for me either.  Maybe, I really did need the detox.  Maybe, I'm just toxic. 

GC is back to the same old, same old, wishy-washy stuff.  I have sent several texts; sometimes he replies and sometimes he doesn't.  I asked him out on a date.  I wanted to be unequivocal about my intentions.  I DON'T want him to be just a booty call.  He said he had tentative plans and asked about the movie time.  Then yesterday, I tried to bribe him to come over.  I used my secret weapon:  my baking skills.  I made a decadent chocolate cake and sent him a picture of it.  He tells me he is sick and needs to rest.  He wont be coming over and we probably won't be going on a date Saturday.  Jokingly, I ask him if we can "re-do" last Thursday night-Friday morning.  He says that he is sure that can be arranged.  Of course it can. 

GC and I have been talking since Christmas.  We are going on three months.  I'm beginning to think that I have been PLENTY patient with him.  He swears that he is interested, its just the timing.  A wise woman once told me that three things are needed to make a relationship work:  the right time, the right person, and the right situation.  If one of those things is lacking, then it isn't going to work.  It seems to be the case in this case.  Damn timing. 

I honestly don't know what to do anymore.  Be patient?  Yeah, cause that's working out really well for me.  Or, maybe, it's time for a little reality check.  Maybe, I will (subtly) let him know that I'm going to go out with someone else, or just let him think that, and see what happens.  Either way, I get an answer.  I will know whether to move on or I will have to.  Or, I could just hang in there.  Or, I could try to talk to him about it, if and when I ever get the chance to do it face to face.  Or, I could just wait for him to initiate contact.  I would definitely NOT hold my breath waiting on that to happen.

I'm thinking it may be time to meet this doctor.  I'm a little scared.  Might have to bring my Taser to the initial face to face.  Doctors can be creepy.  I guess I could just get his number and give him a call....

In case you haven't figured this out yet, I'm extremely impulsive.  Who knows what I'll do next?