Day #1

I have decided to count the days forward instead of counting down from 30.  I don't know why, but it seems easier that way.  Every day that I count gets to be an accomplishment that way.  Today was Day #1 of 30.  29 more to go.

So far, today hasn't seemed too difficult.  I stress, so far.  This evening will be the hardest part.  I am home and I'm bored.  Right now, I'm blogging instead of perusing profiles on my favorite dating websites.

Last night after I posted my first entry, I deleted my match.com profile and my okcupid.com profile.  I even deleted my match.com application from my blackberry.  Yep, I'm serious.  This made me realize that I spent far too much time looking at these profiles.  They all say the same thing--laid back guy with a good sense of humor seeking girl...yada, yada, yada.  The only thing that's different from profile to profile is the pictures.  That makes me wonder if it's the same for the womens' profiles.

I have also realized that I am totally addicted to my Crackberry and its little flashing read light.  It is impossible for me NOT to pick up my phone when the light is flashing.  I must know if I have a new text, email, or facebook update.  I pretty much keep my phone on me at all times, with the only exception being at work.  Then, I keep it in my office and I check it very regularly.  I can access EVERYTHING from my phone.

There were a lot of jokes today about my dating detox program.  It seems that everyone had something to say.  I fully anticipated this.  My coworkers are putting together an office pool.  There will be bets and money involved.  It's all in good fun.  I even shared my blog with a few people.  I sincerely hope that this doesn't start circulating at work in the printed form.  Oh, well.  I guess this is a risk I am taking by publishing my dating woes on the world wide web.

I do believe that there are some that are set out to sabotage my 30 day challenge.  Today, one of the medical staff asks me if I date doctors.  This is after he learns of my 30 day detox.  Really?  I explain that I don't discriminate about professions when it comes to dating.  I have dated doctors, attorneys, Kroger cashiers, mechanics, cable guys, cops, managers at toy stores, even guys with NO job.  You name it.  Then he asks me if I would be willing to meet this doctor that he knows.  Again, really?  Thanks a lot.  I DO appreciate the offer and I tell him that I would be more than willing to meet this doctor--once my 30 days has passed.  Any other time someone offers to introduce me to a guy, I can barely wait to meet him.  I get impatient and I want to meet him, NOW.  Not this time.  I don't even ask basic questions.  This is temptation and I must resist.

There is going to be a lot of upcoming temptation.  This weekend, Kyle, my son, is supposed to stay with one of his aunts.  That means I'll be kid free for the entire weekend.  I will have no obligations other than feeding my dogs, letting them out to potty and going to work.  Only, I took Sunday off so that I could attend a fighting event on Saturday night.  There will be plenty temptation there.  Some of that temptation may even try to sabotage my efforts.  The thought has crossed my mind that I may be better off not consuming any alcohol.  We'll see what happens.  I may skip out on the event entirely.

And then there is poker night, which is Thursday.  Last poker night, GC got an invite to stop by and have some food.  Oh, I forgot GC didn't get an honorable mention in my first entry.  That is partially because I never dated him exclusively or for any long period of time.  In as few words as possible:  GC and I were introduced by a mutual friend many years ago, we went out a few times.  I witnessed what may have been his most embarrassing moment and after that I didn't hear from him.  That is until this past Christmas.  Christmas I sent out a mass text to everyone in my contacts wishing them a Merry Christmas.  I swear I didn't even realize that I still had his number.  We had been texting back and forth since then.  The last poker night was the first time I had seem him in years.  I had forgotten just how cute he was.  More like hot.  He came by a week later for dinner on his lunch break.  I got a kiss goodbye that night.  It was a tentative kiss, like he wasn't sure it should even be happening.  Since then we have exchanged a few texts.  Nothing serious.  I can read between the lines:  he is just not that into me.

Here is the controversy with GC.  He knows that poker night is on thursday.  He will be working that night and he could stop by.  I don't think that he will.  Before I started my 30 days, he hadn't responded to texts for at least 4 days.  Not promising if you ask me, however, one of my friends insists that he WILL show up.  So, my question is this:  does that violate the rules of my dating detox?

I am going to end with this last thought.  When considering the ramifications of my 30 days of no contact with...anyone....I had a fleeting moment of panic.  What if I am not missed?  What if 30 days passes and no one has even tried to make contact with me?  I fully anticipate 7-10 days before I hear from the cable guy.  Cesspool may contact me about the girl scout cookies that I ordered from his little sister.  GC, well, I probably wont hear from him at all.  It is absolutely possible that I could run into Bob when I am out and about.  We are members of the same gym, shop at the same grocery store, and live in the same part of town.  I have the feeling that he may contact me to see how my 30 days is going.  When I thought about this, I found it somewhat depressing that it is possible that no one will care that I just stopped calling and texting.  This is the wrong attitude to have.  If, by the end of my 30 days, I haven't heard from GC, the cable guy, Bob, or anyone else; I am going to delete them from my contacts.  If in 30 days none of them are wondering what in the hell happened to me, then they don't deserve me anyway.

So far this evening my phone has been quiet.  No calls.  The only texts I have received have been from Kyle's aunt and my friend Orion.  Just to be on the safe side, I didn't respond to Orion.  He is a platonic friend, but I am not going to risk violating he detox rules.

Only 2 more hours til bedtime and my first day is over!